Adino Online

What perfect timing! I never have to worry about my baby’s medical expenses and education any more!

This is simply wonderful beyond any measure!

I don’t have to worry about getting income any more! I don’t even have to work any more! I can live my life doing what I love…writing, music and spending time with my family.

If you must know, some overseas bank branch manager needs someone to help him transfer funds out from his country. He sent me an email this morning. Don’t be jealous ok?

Imagine my surprise to read about this wonderful offer! I can finally pay off my housing loan. I can buy a home in Cameron Highlands and live there planting vegetables and rearing chickens!

I know, I probably have to do something illegal. This guy by the name of Dr Anthony Aka falsified his annual report to his bank and has under-reported $3.5 million USD.

All I have to do is email him my bank account number and he will remit the money to me. I get to keep 30%, which is $1.05 million! I posted his email a few paragraphs down. I never bluff you right?

Now, don’t ask me why a bank manager will hold a doctorate. And his email address looks very suspicious. And why did he forget to sign his name as Dr Anthony? Is there more than one person?

Don’t question why he would choose me out of millions of people. Don’t ask me why he is asking me, a complete stranger for help. Isn’t he afraid that I’m Interpol or something?

Oh, I can’t wait to claim my share of the profits. I wonder if he has Gmail.

His email to me is as follows:

Hi,

Pardon me for not having the pleasure of knowing your mindset before making you this offer and it is utterly confidential and genuine by virtue of its nature.I write to solicit your assistance in a funds transfer deal involving US$3.5M.This fund has been stashed out of the excess profit made last year by my branch office the International Commercial Bank which I am the Manager.

I have already submitted an approved end of the year report for the year 2005 to my head office here in Accra-Ghana and they will never know of this excess. I have since then, placed this amount on a
Non-Investment Account without a beneficiary.

Upon your response, I will configure your name on our database as holder of the Non-Investment Account. I will then guide you on how to apply to my head office for the Account Closure/ bank-to-bank remittance of
the funds to your designated bank account.

If you concur with this proposal, I intend for you to retain 30% of the funds while 70% shall be for me.

Kindly forward your response to: [email protected] [Adino: Please spam-bots, take this email as my sacrifice!]

Mobile: +233-24-967-0169
With Regards,
Anthony Aka

I’m probably going to reply with something like this:

Dear Mr Akar

What a coincidence! I am also a bank manager, with the Cameron Highlands branch of CIMB. Last year I too under-declared my branch profit.

How come you only made a mere $3.5 million? Perhaps you had to share some of that profit with your branch staff to keep them quiet.

I got substantially more than that, due to my super power ability to manipulate database records with my thoughts.

Pardon me, I did not mean to brag about my super powers. In fact, I need your help. I have always wanted to invest in the diamond mines of Accra-Ghana. I am looking for someone such as you to head the operations.

I won’t pay you any salary (because you would obviously steal from me), but I would pay you $30 million to set up the company.

If you don’t want to miss this opportunity, send me an email at [email protected]. That’s not my email but don’t worry I can use my super powers to receive it.

With Regards,
Prof Adino Bambino Rocky-Stallone III

P/S: The road to wealth is not get-rich-quick schemes such as this. It’s through making smart financial decisions. Check out my latest Frugal Beagle article on How to Live Within Your Means.

Update: My Frugal Beagle blog seems to be down intermittenly. Please try again later if you can’t reach the page.