Today you may notice my post is a bit late. I cracked and cracked my head but still can’t come up with anything to write about.
So I decide to do a tag instead. Onida tagged me with the one million tag.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, puppies and doggies, presenting to you…
What Would I Do With One Million Durians?
Photograph: Elaine Tan
1. I would eat one (secretly because Poey Chin doesn’t like them).
2. I would sell one durian for RM4 and buy a Proton division for 1 Euro. Then I would sell it for 93 million Euros to make a handsome profit.
3. I would would plant 10,000 durians to grow over 30,000 durian trees. These trees will provide me with unlimited durians.
4. I will declare myself Durian Emperor. Poey Chin will be my emperess. Sushi my Castrated Shih Tzu can be my eunuch to take care of my princesses. The durian will be a sacred fruit you can only eat at even hours of the day.
You will not be allowed to make any durian cakes because it is disgraceful to the national fruit. Durian lovers will be given special preferences in housing, education, and business. Non-durian lovers will not get any preferences until durian lovers hold 30% equity.
5. I would throw a blogger durian party once a month. Eat as many durians as you want for free. Everyone invited.
6. I would donate 10,000 durians for scientific research to grow and clone the Ultimate Seedless Durian. This Ultimate Durian must be odourless so it can be smuggled into hotels and offices.
It must be thornless and cube shaped for optimum storage and distribution. It must come in different flavours to cater for different tastes. And it must play MP3s. People coming for my durian parties will be the guinea pigs professional tasters.
7. Fusing 100,000 durians together in a particle accelarator, I will try to come out with the anti-Durian. The anti-Durian is a durian that is there and yet not there at the same time. It can exist in different universes simultaneously.
With one anti-Durian I could compute the size of the universe in 1 day, decode the human genome in 1 minute and solve Sudoku puzzles in 1 second.
8. I would form a band called Durian Durian and release albums full of love songs (okay I know this one is lame).
*strokes beard* MUA HA HA HA HA!
Technorati Tags: Durian
August 17, 2007 at 13:05
darling u r so funny n “weird”..:P hey who say i dun like durian,i just dun like to eat so many coz it will give me sore throat. Ur ideas of what to do with one million durians is good..sound like its a privillege for durian lovers..join the club, and u will be rewarded with MORE durians..hahaha..everything is about membership now! Can i get half the profit u make from it? *wink wink*??
Adino: You can have ALL of the profits darling. But err… you know ah, emperor must have concubines one hehe *run away*
August 17, 2007 at 14:09
yr no:4 is a stroke of genius.
Adino: Not genius la… hope I won’t lose my citizenship over this hehe…
August 17, 2007 at 15:50
i would just eat till i burst
Adino: Hehe… you can come to my durian party / lab experiments.
August 17, 2007 at 17:48
ADINO CHANG, u can have cucumbers and not concubines
Adino: Oh oh… empress angry liao. All concubines better run and hide.
August 18, 2007 at 10:58
Hahhhaa… one million durians. Sure the ang moh will run for lives. LOL
Adino: Muahaha… total world domination!!!
August 19, 2007 at 06:35
u got issues man.take a vacation to canada, i’ll give you a piece of soveriegn land and you can plant your durians here. on one condition, u give me cheap price when i want to barter trade with you some exotic maple leaf syrup.
Adino: Haha I don’t think durians will grow in cold weather. Anyway all the Canadians will kick me out if I stink up the country.