This morning I was in the toilet when I got inspired to write on this topic.
If I had force powers, I would:
1) Clean my house
Adino chose a calm morning, and sat down in his living room. There was no wind, and the cheerful rays of dawn had not called the dew back to the heavens. He closed his eyes, and stretched his hands to his sides.
A small baby funnel of wind formed on both his palms. He cast them out, and they went around the room vacuuming all the dust over all the furniture and the floors (left to right, top to bottom if you must know). Within five minutes Adino had cleaned the room and went on to other rooms to repeat his chores.
Sushi the Wookie who was asleep lifted an eyelid to see Adino cleaning again, and wondered why he didn’t want to get a droid to do all the cleaning.
2) Murder… all ants
… it was Adino’s final piece of strawberry agar jelly, and the ants were crawling all over it. They were going around in circles like they were doing a celebration dance. Adino reached out with the Force and found the little bits of life dancing all over his jelly.
He could sense mischief and extreme pleasure. Mama Queen Ant is going to be really happy today. He expanded his senses, following the trail of ants into the hole in the wall, down to depths of the ground.
There were millions of them. Adino’s little finger started trembling as he struggled to hold all these points of conciousness with his power.
Adino slowly lifted his right hand and clenched his fist in a dramatic fashion. Millions of ant heads separated from their bodies in that instant (including some mosquitoes and termites).
Princess Poey Chin walked in and saw what he was doing. “Adi… Adi…. what have you done? What have you become?”
3) Open a Lightsaber online store / helpline
Case #1
Adino: Good morning, how may I help you?
Caller: Hi, I have a problem. My lightsaber doesn’t work. Nothing happens when I try to activate it. I lost a few fingers yesterday when I got into a fight.
Adino: Are you using an original or a pirated version?
Caller: Original la
Adino: Did you remember to charge it?
Caller: Yes, it shows full charge.
Adino: How did you try and activate it?
Caller: I just took it out and looked real fierce, like in the movies.
Adino: You pressed the ‘On’ button right?
Caller: On button?
Adino: Hold the lightsaber in your palm… it should be near your thumb. Make sure you…
Caller: *sound excited* Oh, this button!
Adino: hold the lightsaber away from you…
Caller: AAARRRGHGGHH!
Adino: Hello? Hello?
Case#2
Adino: Good morning, how may I help you?
Caller: Umm, hi. I got my lightsaber I ordered from your website yesterday. I specifically ordered a purple one like Mace Windu, but you sent me a blue one. All my friends have a blue one.
Adino: I’m sorry. The crystals that go into the lightsabers are very unique. Sometimes the colour doesn’t come out as expected.
Caller: Don’t you test the lightsabers before you ship them out?
Adino: No I don’t. I think my work is perfect.
Caller: …
Adino: Why don’t you get some red tinted sun visors? Your blade will look purple and you will look cool too!
Caller: I want my money back.
Adino: *wave hand* You don’t want your money back.
Caller: I don’t want my money back.
Adino: *wave hand* Your lightsaber is purple.
Caller: My lightsaber is purple.
Adino: *wave hand* You will purchase red tinted sun visors from my web site.
Caller: I will purchase red tinted sun visors from your web site.
Adino: *wave hand* Bye bye.
Caller: Bye bye.
Technorati Tags: Force
October 12, 2007 at 10:08
Haha
You wave hand and he listen to you?
Adino: Ya la, because I got force powers ma…
October 12, 2007 at 14:30
Hi, this is my first time leaving a comment on your site.
Really cool post on the Force! I think only fellow Jedi junkies like myself would recognize the style of writing (which is smashingly good, btw!)… hehe.
Yeah, I wish I had Force powers too. *grin*
Adino: Thanks for the kind compliment Rinnah, welcome to my blog and thanks for commenting!
October 12, 2007 at 16:58
The ant bait I use really works to kill off all the ants. In just 3 days all ants are gone. Die-ded, is what I like to call them.
Wanna try? I bet Princess Poey Chin will be pleased.
Adino: I did buy some ant bait but I didn’t use it because I was worried Sushi my Vacuum Cleaner Shih Tzu will eat it. Perhaps one of these days I will give the bait a try.
October 13, 2007 at 00:02
You are fantasizing already! Must have watched Heroes too much lolz.
Adino: Oh… I should write a post about having a Heroes power
October 17, 2007 at 16:23
Alo, Jedi Master..
Finally the Force has gotten too much of you and you are going nuts!
I really think it is something to do with sitting in the toilet too long…
Use the Force for good, and flush the toilet.
Adino: *flush* Don’t know what came over me, must be the Hokkien Mee I ate the previous night.
October 26, 2007 at 17:04
Adino ji (akin to the Adina la)
Release the sequel/ series “If i had Force powers” soon on the WEBBBBB ….
Ensure no bugs, no roll backs are to be expected in the newer versions of the releases of
IIHFP series 1.1 onwards !!!
Namaskar ……. Ram N
Adino: Hehehe… thanks
November 8, 2007 at 03:22
A typical example of imagination run wild in the forest. Just as a suggestion, I’d say mosquitoes are more annoying than ants, in terms of biology, because they are vectors of malaria and itchiness. Keep that vividness up!
Adino: I hate mosquitoes too! Darn those vectors of itchiness!