A hilarious thing happened to me today.
Well, it wasn’t exactly funny from my point of view. It was quite sweaty and panicky really. But I guess I can laugh now that it’s all over.
At 12pm, I had to go to the toilet. Suddenly, the zip on my office trousers split apart.
It was horrifying.
There was this moment when I felt it giving way. In slow motion, I reached for the two sides of my trousers, too afraid to move.
I held my breath (you know, so that I can avoid putting more pressure on the zipper) and for just a moment it held.
And slowly, slowly it gave way (I had to breathe!) and my worst fears came true.
My phone rang. Poey Chin called, and I told her I had an emergency. “Hah? You have to see what?”
“Emergency,” I repeated.
“You need to sit?”
“No, I had a little emergency. My zip broke”
I could hear her silently laugh at me as I told her I needed some time alone to fix my wardrobe malfunction.
I spent a few minutes trying to repair the zip. I remembered reading some zipper repairing tips before. Well, good luck finding bees wax.
I snuck out of the toilet and found some safety pins in the first aid box. Then I went back to the toilet to try and patch things up.
I gave up after a few attempts (and after poking myself painfully a few times).
So I quietly went to get my laptop Izzie, and walked out of the back door of my department (pretending I was going for a meeting). All the while covering my zipper with my laptop.
I decided to take an early lunch break to go home and change.
So I walked out the back alley towards my car, to avoid meeting any colleagues.
I met a security guard who must have wondered why I was smiling at him nervously, clutching a laptop to my pants. He must have thought I had some weird techno fetish.
I texted a quick message to inform my colleague that I had to go home.
I safely made it to my car, and drove home hoping no one would mistake me for a flasher.
P/S: I hope none of my colleagues read this!