Wardrobe Malfunction

A hilarious thing happened to me today.

Well, it wasn’t exactly funny from my point of view. It was quite sweaty and panicky really. But I guess I can laugh now that it’s all over.

At 12pm, I had to go to the toilet. Suddenly, the zip on my office trousers split apart.

It was horrifying.

There was this moment when I felt it giving way. In slow motion, I reached for the two sides of my trousers, too afraid to move.

I held my breath (you know, so that I can avoid putting more pressure on the zipper) and for just a moment it held.

And slowly, slowly it gave way (I had to breathe!) and my worst fears came true.

My phone rang. Poey Chin called, and I told her I had an emergency. “Hah? You have to see what?”

“Emergency,” I repeated.

“You need to sit?”

“No, I had a little emergency. My zip broke”

I could hear her silently laugh at me as I told her I needed some time alone to fix my wardrobe malfunction.

I spent a few minutes trying to repair the zip. I remembered reading some zipper repairing tips before. Well, good luck finding bees wax.

I snuck out of the toilet and found some safety pins in the first aid box. Then I went back to the toilet to try and patch things up.

I gave up after a few attempts (and after poking myself painfully a few times).

So I quietly went to get my laptop Izzie, and walked out of the back door of my department (pretending I was going for a meeting). All the while covering my zipper with my laptop.

I decided to take an early lunch break to go home and change.

So I walked out the back alley towards my car, to avoid meeting any colleagues.

I met a security guard who must have wondered why I was smiling at him nervously, clutching a laptop to my pants. He must have thought I had some weird techno fetish.

I texted a quick message to inform my colleague that I had to go home.

I safely made it to my car, and drove home hoping no one would mistake me for a flasher.

P/S: I hope none of my colleagues read this!