Life has settled down into a nice routine.
Thank God baby Caleb is pretty easy to handle (if you feed him on time). At this stage he’s content to lie down and observe his surroundings, but that will soon change when he starts to crawl.
Today I just want to share my new strategy for surviving as a daddy of three. I don’t even know if I am right or wrong, but I’ve been thinking and discovering some things along the way.
People ask us, how do you handle three young kids who are 3.5 years apart?
Well, the answer is both parents need to multi-task and be skilled in everything.
I have to feed and bathe the kids. I have to know how to put them to bed. Both of us parents must be able to take over at any moment.
That would be the perfect scenario but I admit I’m tired sometimes. Sometimes I become the fourth baby and add to Poey Chin’s burden (which is why she’s a super mom).
Thankfully we’ve never come across any situation where all three kids need attention at the same time.
And we do have help from our parents and my aunty during the day.
So my first strategy is to take initiative to do everything, even things I can’t stand like washing milk bottles *gag*
Close One Eye
Recently I have tried to close one eye, not to worry so much or nag them so much.
I really dislike clutter and mess in my house. I’m seriously considering giving them a room or an area where they can mess up all they like.
Another thing is I used to worry a lot about the kids hurting themselves.
I will hover over them, following them around and making sure they are not about to fall or poke their eyes or something.
When they sleep I have to check if they’re still breathing.
Now… less paranoid.
Don’t Waste My Breath
Take a typical scenario where the kids play with toys and leave them all over the floor.
Before: “Pick up your toys” (repeat 10 times). “I will CONFISCATE YOUR TOYS!!” (and other threats). 1 hour later toys will be on the floor again.
Now: Just get them to clean up the toys at the end of their play time.
Sometimes I still fail. I get upset at them especially when I’m tired or busy or stressed. But I try to repeat to myself, “don’t waste your breath, don’t waste your breath”.
We have 3 or 4 boxes of toys in our living room, and countless soft toys.
I think my kids probably play with less than 20% of them.
I’m going to start slowly storing those toys they don’t play with, and see if they notice anything missing.
I bet they won’t.
There will never be enough money for you to afford having kids (unless you’ve been really successful financially).
The list of expenses never end.
Say goodbye to the term ‘disposable income’ because it will all go to the kids. From disposable income to disposable diapers haha.
But I will try not to worry too much. I believe things always work out in the end.
Incidentally I discovered kids don’t have any concept of the value of money. They won’t understand when you keep asking them not to hit the TV screen with your mobile phone because they have no idea what it costs to repair or replace those things.
So I will try to stop nagging them about spoiling things, and needing money to repair. I mean, they just don’t understand. Maybe they will understand when the TV breaks and they can’t have their Barney / Hi-5 anymore.
I’ve noticed the kids act up as a way to get my attention. No, they act up because I don’t give them enough attention.
So starting with this weekend, I’m going to put aside time to spend with each one of them individually.
I hope it will improve our understanding of each other, and to communicate better.
Most of the time on this blog you will never hear about the things going on ‘behind the scenes’. You only see the happy photos.
I’m still struggling to be a good father. I have so many weaknesses. They drive me up the wall.
On the flipside, they can be such sweet adorable darlings.
If I were to rate myself, I’d be a 3 out of 10.
I just hope this new strategy will help make life better for all of us.
Image By: Marko Malca