Two more weeks till baby Daryl is born.
For Rachel, I was waiting and expecting because I didn’t know the time of her birth. This time, we have made an appointment with the (expensive) OB/GYN for an operation, so we’re just counting down the days. Actually the doctor’s fees aren’t too expensive. Just the hospital fees that will kill me.
Like last time, I felt really excited, like the feeling you get before opening a present.
There’s always the curiosity to see what your child looks like. No matter how you look at it, it is a miracle to see a newborn baby.
But this time, I am under no illusion or fantasy. I know that our lives will be turned upside down. Everything will be chaotic for a few months, and sleep will be a luxury for us.
Once again, money will flow out of my bank account like nobody’s business. My daddy has offered to help subsidize some of the expenses, but I’m not too keen to accept because he’s retired.
In a way, we already know what to expect. It’s going to be easier because we’ve had Rachel as our guinea pig. But I’m sure that we have forgotten some of the hard and difficult things.
One preview was milk vomit. Last night Rachel vomited milk all over our bed and bedroom floor.
And there could always be new things for us to handle. For example, I’m sure there are some differences between raising a boy and a girl.
It is going to be extra hard with a clingy, older sibling who already shows signs of jealousy (Rachel likes to kick Poey Chin’s tummy, and when we pretend her toy monkey is baby Daryl, she keeps hitting the monkey).
I’m hoping that Rachel will start to understand once she can actually see baby Daryl with her own eyes (as opposed to abstract imaginations that she cannot understand now).
Mixed in with this feeling of excitement is the very real feeling of fear and worry. Every surgery has risks, and I hope Poey Chin recovers well.
I also worry for baby Daryl’s health. Every parent will hope for a healthy baby, and I hope there won’t be any jaundice this time.
There’s a thousand things to worry about, but we can only pray and make necessary preparations.
Personally I can’t say that I’m 100% ready. I have to dig out some of those pregnancy and baby books to refresh some of my knowledge. I have to get infant formula and diapers. We have to arrange for someone to take care of Rachel. And so on…
To summarize, what I’m feeling now is anticipation, fear, feeling unprepared, slightly disorganized, and hoping for the best.
In two weeks our small family is going to change forever.