Tired

Good evening everyone.

Today is no special occasion, it’s just a normal day on a normal weekday.

On my way home from work today I was thinking about spending a few minutes to write a post on my blog.

I just want to share how I’ve been feeling so tired. I don’t know what happened. I just wake up one day and find I’m stuck in this routine. 

Each morning is a mad rush getting the kids out the door, into the car, and getting to their respective schools. Then it’s the morning commute to work. After work it’s home to the same dinner. The same routine at night. The kids misbehaving. Whining. Struggling to get them to bed.

So tired emotionally and mentally that I can’t do anything except watch TV until I fall asleep. Sometimes the kids get me so upset that I’m quarreling with Poey Chin.

Every day I wonder what I’ve done in my life so far. Nothing great. Nothing successful. I look ahead and I don’t see anything different in the next 10 years. What do I have to look forward to?

Is it all just a slow grind? Living day to day, month to month and year to year? Is this all there is to life? Goodness. It’s June already. Where did the past 6 months go to?

I wonder if any other men go through this. I wonder if any of you fathers out there wake up in the middle of the night wondering if what you’ve done was all a big mistake.

I should have done (this and that) a few years back. I should not have made that decision. I should have, I could have…

Why am I still struggling in so many areas of my life? What happened to all the dreams I had?

I’m sorry, this is too negative and too heavy.

But I just had to write down these thoughts. I just have to share somewhere.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll look out for something positive to write about.

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