Last Saturday I attended a wedding dinner from one of my youth friends in my previous church. The venue happens to be the same place I’m hosting my wedding, so I was impressed with what I will be getting.
After the wedding dinner, my darling and I were discussing on our own plans for our wedding. We decided that it’s time to begin serious planning for our wedding. There are so many things to do! As we were talking, I realized that I’m going to be very busy real soon. I began to realize that my wedding was not as simple as I envisioned it. It was going to be a day filled with activities from the start to the end! Needless to say, this left me a little lost and feeling helpless.
I pondered on the reason for all the ‘necessary’ things that are needed for weddings. Sure, a lot of the activities and ceremonies are deemed necessary to conform to Chinese tradition. But when you come to think about it, a lot of things have been commercialized today. Why is it now compulsory to wear designer gowns, to drink champagne and to arrive in a Mercedes Benz? Who said that wedding photos need to be taken in studios (who over-charge you anyway)? Who said that brides and grooms must look as slim possible?
There’s always this pressure that weddings are a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so we must not hold back from getting things perfect. I’d like to point out that the wedding lasts for only one day, while any debts I incur may take years for me to recover from. I’d tell them that these frills actually takes the focus away from what’s important (i.e., my bride).
What happened to simplicity? I’ve always imagined my wedding to be a sweet and intimate time with my family and friends. My idea was to have the essence of a ceremony to make our wedding vows before God and before everyone. There will not be a need to impress anybody, and there will not be a need to conform to traditions that add no value to our marriage.
What I’m trying to say is we need to be aware of the influences and expectations put upon us. When planning for something as important as a wedding, we can get carried away. I just want our wedding to be as pure as possible without being corrupted by commercial expectations and worldly customs.
Anyway, our wedding will be a nice one. I’m going to spend extra on flowers and ribbons because that’s how Poey Chin likes it. It’s being hosted in a posh five star hotel. We’re going to be taking our wedding photos at a studio wearing designer clothes. I don’t know about me being slimmer, but we’re going to drink champagne and arrive in a Mercedes Benz. I’m going to love it.
We threw around some outdoor wedding ideas, but ultimately felt that it wasn’t right for us.
I will try my best to fight the commercialism. After my wedding, I don’t want my guests to be impressed about all the things they can see around them. I just want them to be impressed that Poey Chin and I love each other very much. I want them to remember our vows and to be a part of our new life together. Ten years from now, I want people to remember my wedding because they can see how much we love each other.