Lost

choose color pencil by D Sharon Pruitt

Today is just one of those days where I start thinking where I am headed in life.

In fact, I’ve been feeling very depressed the whole week and I don’t understand why.

One thing I do during these times of moodiness is to evaluate where I am at the present, and where I want to be in the future.

Yesterday I was seriously having some mid-life crisis kind of thoughts. No I wasn’t  thinking about getting a mistress or a flashy new car.

I searched deep within to honestly write down my skills.

I got a pretty short list, and I felt dismayed to see that I can’t consider myself an expert in any particular skill.

Then I started creating another list of my passions. This was an even shorter list, and many of the things I’m passionate about, I’m not even good at them.

For example, one of my passions is the bass guitar. But I’m not so good I can make a living out of it.

Recently I’m really hooked on bowling. But I’m so bad at it that I’ll be last place in any league or tournament.

I’m not being modest, just being realistic.

So I started to ask myself, what have I been doing all these 30 years of my life? Why can’t I be really really good at something?

Well, something I’m really really good at is my job. But I feel so tired sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I need a breath of fresh air.

How nice if I could make a living from what I am passionate in!

But the fact is, to change career path now would mean a drastic reduction in income. And in life, nothing works without money, especially now I have a wife and two kids.

So I’m resigned to the fact that I’m going to be here for the next 30 years.

Passions can only be hobbies, and nothing more. And that makes me feel really sad.

On a positive note, I do think that anything is possible. If I really want something bad enough, I could find ways to get there.

I’m still plotting and scheming…

Photo By: D Sharon Pruitt / CC BY 2.0

6 thoughts on “Lost”

  1. I share your sentiment. Sometimes I’m really lost and not sure where I’m headed. Yes depressing as well. I’m just starting to do a reality check regarding what I have, where I want to go from here and so on.

    If we’re not good at something, all it takes is practice and yes there must be passion (very important). 😉

    Adino: I feel like I spend a lot of time pursuing something, and in the end it doesn’t seem to lead anywhere.

    Thanks for your advice on practice and passion. You’re right on those things. Maybe need patience as well.

  2. Once, a businessperson shared with me this tip. He said, it’s the boring work that makes the money so that you can afford to enjoy your passions.
    The example that he gave then was selling toothbrush. How boring is that!

    But imagine if you’re selling toothbrush to the entire 20 million Malaysians. If you earn RM1.00 per toothbrush, you’ll surely be able to fund your bowling hobby, may be even pay for one-to-one lesson with the best bowling player in the world. Or learn bass guitar from the most famous bass guitarist in the world.

    But try playing bass guitar or bowling full-time. Unless you’re particularly gifted in that, you probably won’t get anywhere.

    Adino: Ooh, I’ve never thought of it like that! Something to ponder on.

  3. Oh, no, Adino, so ‘ngam’ one, I am in the same situation too! 🙂

    I have been quite down this past one week too because I don’t know what I can do to double my online income. My AdSense earnings and serps of my niche blogs have been the same without any increment.

    Those blogs which I haven’t updated for months bring in money, but those I have updated very often don’t show much results. So I am stuck whether I should go on with promoting or leave them for months without updates.

    I want to double my income so much so that I can pay off some personal debt owed to family members as soon as possible.

    I have been thinking what I can do besides blogging for money. Going back to giving tuition is really not what I want for the time being. I would rather work in a gift store than giving tuition again. The passion is simply not there anymore.

    Guess that I should pray more and let God give me guidance or show me the next step. 😉

    Adino: It’s not easy to make money online. I guess you are more successful than most of us, if you already have several niche blogs.

  4. there must be a whole bunch of people who can’t do much else outside of their day job. including yours truly.

    do some charity/voluntary work for the less fortunate. it’s when you give something back that you realise what you already have is much more than what you actually need.

    plotting and scheming is fine – just don’t conspire!!

    Adino: Sometimes it comes from the desire to life a live without having to trade time for money. It’s not that I don’t love my job… I do. But I see some who have built up a passive and residual income doing things they love, and that is more attractive.

  5. I do lost sometimes.
    As long as you recover it and find back the path quick..
    That’s fine…

    Gambatehhhhh….

    Adino: Thanks KeeYit!

  6. I think everybody will feel bored when you are stuck in the routine job for years and years…
    But we are scared to face new challenges…thus we are stuck in where we are

    Adino: So true

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