I’m so sick of it!
There are just some people who are raised in uncivilized families who happen to live in my condo. Their mission is to irritate me day and night, forever ruining my public holidays and weekends.
Here are three shining examples:
1. The elephants upstairs
There are two or three kids living above my condo unit. Every evening without fail, they will chase each other around the house. Step step bang bang STOMP STOMP RUMBLE RUMBLE. *imagine some dust falling from my ceiling to my chicken soup*
After they get tired of that, they will play with their toy Legos or building blocks. Slam slam slam hammer hammer knock knock. DEMOLISH! And all the blocks come tumbling down.
Then late at night, there will be a consistent sound… someone knocking a metal or stone on the floor. Then that person will will drop something heavy. I suspect that somebody is either lifting weights or making belacan.
My wife and I have tried guessing what they’re doing. You’d probably think that they could be doing some mating activities, but they’re in the living room wor! Besides, I don’t hear any bed springs creaking.
Won’t it be funny if one day I went upstairs and found the unit to be vacant? Haha *nervous laugh*
2. The scary boy
There’s a boy who goes “ROOOOOCK! ROOOOOCK! ROOOOCK!” non-stop for hours. We think that there’s something wrong with him mentally. It’s not that I’m not understanding or sympathetic, but I do have my limits.
The problem is, his parents place him in a room and he’s shouting out the window.
This window doesn’t lead outside, it’s an internal air well. So sound travels.
Sometimes when he’s especially jubilant, he will interspace his “ROOOOOCK!” with some “WOOOOOOoooooo“s.
Imagine this going on when you’re taking your afternoon nap, or when you’re trying to sleep in late on a public holiday or weekend.
There’s no way to block the sound because he’s so loud. We can even hear him from the car park downstairs sometimes.
3. The crappy bassist
This is the one that irritates me the most. There’s this guy (I assume it’s a guy) who plays his bass guitar full blast. It won’t be so bad if he actually had some skill.
But he’s sooo, sooo, sooo crappy I feel like stabbing my own ears to stop the torture. For one, I can hear that he doesn’t use proper technique. For goodness sake, you’re only using one finger!
And take some lessons! Your timing is all off! And don’t try to play electric guitar solo parts with your bass!
And… PLEASE. TUNE. YOUR. BASS!!!!!!
He only plays outdated rock songs from Nirvana, et al. For half an hour. Without stopping. Few times a day. I got to admire his tenacity. He started with Knocking on Heaven’s Door but now he’s moved on to more rocking songs.
And you know, he probably doesn’t know that the bass wavelengths are longer. If he sits right in front of his amp, he won’t be able to hear it as loud as people further away. So he puts it really loud. And the vibrations are absorbed by the condo walls. And it turns my home into a bass amp sound chamber.
OMG. One day I’m going to put MY bass amp to FULL VOLUME and let HIM hear how a bass guitar is SUPPOSED to be played!
But I won’t do that. That just makes me as terrible as him.
And I’m not saying that I’m so great. But I’m much better than him. And I’m sure the entire condo would prefer listening to my MUSIC rather than his NOISE.
Sometimes I’m going to church and I’m actually afraid to let people see me holding a bass guitar. What if they thought that I was HIM!?
So if you live in Shang Villa and you’re one of these three, you better stop (Hah! Fat chance of them reading blogs). The only thing stopping me from coming to your door is I haven’t bothered to hunt you down yet.
I might consider recording some of these sounds for you to hear. Oooh, that’s a good idea. My weekend project!
P/S: Remind me to delete this post when I plan to sell my condo okay?
Photo: Dawn Allynn