I’m Scared To Read Dear Thelma

Yesterday I was reading the Dear Thelma column in the Sunday Star. I know you did too (come on, admit it). Probably if you are just like me you would want to find out what sorts of situations people get into, and then see what Thelma would do. Or… it could be all the juicy types of stories that seem too unreal to be true.

I’d like to stop here and state my suspicions that Thelma could actually be a man. My theory is supported by the fact that not one of her photographs have been published before. I’d also like to propose to potential bloggers out there that a ‘Dear Thelma’ themed blog would get a lot of readers.

Back to my story… “Dear Thelma,” it began. “I have been with A for the past few years…”

I don’t know if it is just me, but I get very sensitive when I read these letters talking about ‘Mr A’. My entire dating and married life flashed before me (it looks like those flashbacks from Lost) as I tried in vain to see if I had traumatized Poey Chin in any way. With a sigh of relief I read that the girl in question did not call herself PC, and the ‘Mr A’ in the letter was way younger than me *phew*

My biggest nightmare would be reading this letter on the Sunday Star:

Dear Thelma,

I have been married to A for the past one month. At first things seem to go along fine, and he loves me very much. When he was courting me he did mention that he had a blog. I visited his blog once or twice and I thought it was very cute that he would include me as part of his blog.

After we got married, I discovered that he spends a lot of his time at home on his computer. He claims to be blogging but I don’t know why he has so much to write about. He also spends a lot of time reading other people’s blogs. He seems to be obsessed with something he calls his ‘web traffic stats’. He gets depressed on weekends when no one visits his blog.

He makes me do things like visit his blog every day and pesters me to leave comments. Sometimes I only pretend to read to make him happy but I am actually reading the Google ads that seem more interesting. Between you and me Thelma, I don’t like his yellow colour theme.

I really cannot stand being married to a blogger any more. He writes about every detail of our lives. I feel that I am being watched and judged on everything I do.

Please tell me what to do Thelma.

Confused Blogger Wife

P/S: My dearest wife, this letter is purely fictional. I know you don’t think these things about me. Please don’t make me sleep on the sofa tonight. Please don’t write to Thelma about this ok?

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