I Sat Beside a Ticking Time Bomb

Yesterday I had the most harrowing experience. It was so harrowing I felt the hair at the back of my neck rise up. I could see my doggy’s life flash before my eyes. I hope I used the word harrowing correctly.

I was listening to a sermon by pastor Phillip Lyn (SIB Skyline) on my CD player and I thought it would be the last thing I heard. I prepared to call my wife to tell her I will love her… always.

I sat beside a ticking time bomb! It was just so ripe and juicy, ready to explode at any time.

You know that eerie feeling you get when someone is blowing a balloon and keeps blowing, and you know it’s gonna burst but they keep blowing? Or that feeling you get when someone is holding a really sharp knife and waving it around? Or that feeling just before the nurse pokes that injection needle in you?

It happened yesterday when I was on my way home from work. There’s this traffic light that was changed really fast, so it means cars have to wait very long to go through it.

I stopped at the traffic lights, and I noticed a lorry (truck) in my left lane, one or two cars in front of me. The car behind the lorry seemed to be keeping quite a distance away.

You know, sometimes I just wish I had a camera phone or a compact camera so I could have captured the scene for you (hint hint).

The lorry was carrying about 200 tanks of cooking gas. These were bright orange and yellow BP cooking gas tanks that were probably loaded to the brim with highly flammable fumes.

As I came neared to the lorry, I saw why the other car was keeping a distance. The driver was smoking away. In between puffs he dangled his cigarette out the window.

He was chatting animately with his colleague, and as he talked, he didn’t realize that his hand was drifting backwards, towards the flammable gas tanks.

Then he took another puff. And my life was spared. And then he started talking again. And his hand drifted again to the gas tanks. I could almost see the cheap red digital clock counting down to zero.

I remembered that scene from Police Story 4 when Jacky Chan and Charlie Yeung had that touching scene. You know, the one where he said “I will love you forever, even in the next life…” *cue mucus and tears effects*

My car was stuck at the red light for almost 10 minutes. As we slowly inched our way forward, I ended up beside this lorry. I sat next to this maniac expecting to die in a flaming fireball at any moment.

I would be gone in a second, because my milo tin Proton Wii-ra won’t offer me any protection. I wonder if I will turn out like a satay or like a char siew.

Well obviously nothing happened to me after that. The lights turned green and I finally managed to zoom away from the suicidal lorry driver. I forgot about my near-death experience when I saw my wife at home.

I’m alive! And I didn’t know I can be so drama.

Okay you can roll your eyes at me now.

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