I Hit My Wife This Morning

It was bound to happen. I tried my best to prevent it from happening, but it happened anyway. I wasn’t even aware that I was going to do it. It just… happened. I don’t know how I’m going to sleep in the same bed with her again.

Now my wife is really going to write to Dear Thelma.

We were sleeping on our queen sized bed, her on the left side and me on the right side. It was in the early hours of the morning, and the sun hadn’t risen yet.

Now, I’m sure you realise that people have different sleeping styles. Some sleep like Superman (on their bellies with one hand extended), some sleep like a baby (curled to one side). There are those who sleep like Sleeping Beauty (serene, with hands clasped on their chest).

Some people sleep like Buddha (on their side, one hand resting under their head). Some people sleep like puppies (on their side, hands and legs extended).

My darling wife sleeps with a Zorro style (blanket covering her eyes like she’s hiding her real identity). I sleep with the inverted-Superman style (on my back, one hand extended and the other covering my eyes).

Don’t ask me why we don’t sleep all cuddled up like two bear cubs in winter. (It’s because I can’t afford to switch on the air cond every night). You can see how this sets up the disaster that is about to happen.

My wife was turning towards me, and I was putting right arm over my eyes. The next thing I knew, my right hand shaped like a fist (that’s how Superman flies right?) made contact with her left eye.

*WHACK!*

My wife straight away started sobbing like a baby (not real tears la) and I hugged her and apologised. She kept saying that I beat her. I was checking if she got a bruise or not, and comforting her. We ended up laughing about it.

So… married guys and girls, how do you keep from accidentally hitting your spouse in bed?

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19 thoughts on “I Hit My Wife This Morning”

  1. Hello. I slept in the same bed with my GF for 10 times. 6 of them i hit them because of nightmares. I’ll give 2 examples. In the last 2 times i saw 1st: a person was shooting arrows to me so i extended my hand to protect myself and hit my GF on her mouth. In another nightmare i was fighting with a thief and i punched my GF on the forehead… This is becoming too embarrassing. What is the reason for this? Can i stop it from happening at all?

    Adino: Hi George, actually it helps to put a pillow between her and yourself. However I am certain as time goes on, you will adjust to having someone else in bed. It’s been years since I’ve written this post and now we have kids sleeping on our bed with us! I’ve got used to having them in bed.

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