Today is our fourth wedding anniversary. I am amazed time has gone by so quickly.
I’m not even sure how we’re going to celebrate. I’ve been planning to take her for a nice meal but she is not too keen to have the kids tag along.
Here are four things I want to highlight about our four years of marriage.
1. Amazing Mother and Wife
I’ve discovered Poey Chin to be the most amazing mother to our kids. I don’t know where she finds the strength, but she does. The kids will always look for her when they get hurt or are unwell.
She has the biggest influence on Rachel, who now walks and sounds like her.
In these four years of marriage, I’ve seen her pregnant more than I’ve seen her non-pregnant. Pregnancy is really uncomfortable and tough, and she never blames me.
She will make sure I have breakfast and dinner waiting for me. She takes good care of the house. All this so I will have one less thing to worry about when I need to work.
She does all the little things to show me she cares, like packing my snacks or making me a cup of tea. Sometimes I never show her my appreciation and sometimes I take it for granted, and I hope to change that.
She is someone I can talk to about my frustrations and worries.
When I watch her give birth, I see how much pain and discomfort it involves. She never complains, and she will not be afraid of pain if it means doing the necessary.
In situations like that, she is braver and stronger than me.
2. Cracks and Mends
We’ve had our share of arguments. After the perfect honeymoon period, the inevitable cracks started to appear in our relationship.
I’ve done and said things I regret, and she has forgiven me.
As more kids come into the picture, it is harder for us to have time together. The only time we get to talk are after the kids go to bed, and even then we are so tired we go to sleep with the kids.
So there has been ups and downs in our marriage.
3. The Children
I cannot find many memories of me and Poey Chin together as husband and wife. It seems to be cut short by the arrival of our children.
First we had Rachel and our life was turned upside down. All our priorities shifted inward. Just as we were settling down, Daryl came and he changed our family again.
Things were really tough last year, when Rachel was going through her terrible twos and Daryl needing attention. I tell you I almost went mad (like the cuckoo kind). It was such a bad experience I shudder to think of Daryl going through the same stage.
I suppose you parents with teenagers will tell me there’s more to come haha.
But then there are times when the kids make us so happy. Those times when they would love us, or communicate with us, or do something cute or funny. Those moments of learning, of increased independence and growth always make us feel very fortunate to have been blessed with children.
I really believe imitation is the best form of flattery, because I feel the same when my kids imitate something I do (it’s usually something silly).
Our four years marriage has been focused a lot on our children, and I suppose this will continue for the rest of our lives.
In a way I can still tell you I’ve never settled down after I got married.
There were always new changes and new situations to deal with.
I am constantly distressed we don’t have a proper and fixed way of doing things. Every few months something will come along (like a new baby) and force us to change.
In the past few months I started wearing my wedding ring again even though I was afraid to do so after I lost it. I don’t know why but I feel Poey Chin is always with me when I see or feel the ring.
This four years I feel very fortunate to have found such a perfect woman to be my wife. She is all I ever need.
Photo By: Andrea Kratzenberg