Four Stages of Drinking

No, I’m not talking about drinking alcohol.

I ordered a large mug of fruit juice last night at a delightful place called the Salmon Steak House in Subang, and they served a really large jug of fruit juice for me and my wife to finish. It was about 1.5 litres of ice cold starfruit juice.


Photo: Darren Kidd

I observed that there were four stages I went through trying to finish the drink.

1) Delight

Inside I secretly felt overjoyed because it was such a big cup of fruit juice. Great value for money! I grabbed the spoon, swirled the ice cubes around and took my first sip with the straw. It tasted cool, soothing and so sweet. Heavenly.

2) Regret

As the food was served, and I started to fill my stomach with a delightful steak, I started to look at the fruit juice with some trepidation. I was hoping my wife would drink a bit more. I started having second thoughts. What was I thinking ordering a large fruit juice? I vowed never to order another large again.

3) Denial

With each sip of the straw, I didn’t think that I could go on. I could actually feel other diners staring at me and pitying me (or laughing at me) for ordering the large. I then entered into a state of denial, pretending that everything was perfectly normal. I looked like I ordered a large drink at every meal. No big deal.

4) Torture

After dinner we stayed and chatted for a while (more like 10 minutes) while slowly gulping the contents of the monstrous cup of star fruit juice. Being the stingy frugal China man I am, I didn’t want to waste the fruit juice.

By this time, one fifth of the cup was still filled with ice. This meant that the liquid was very very cold. On one hand, there was the pressure to finish the drink quickly and leave. On the other hand, the worst brain freeze you could imagine with every sip. It was torture.

And then there’s the bloated feeling in my stomach… and the trips to the bathroom.

My advice to you, my dear readers… don’t ever order the large unless you just finished running a marathon or something.

I got to go now… my bladder is full again.

5 thoughts on “Four Stages of Drinking”

  1. Adino, you should watch out or you are going to gain weight.

    Adino: Too late 🙂 I’m already gaining weight

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