These past few weeks I’ve been feeling so tired.
It started when I was eating my usual lunch. The same lunch I would eat on Tuesday afternoons. Mamak-style fried koay teow with two eggs.
I was in my eighth bite or so when I suddenly hit a wall. I just stared at what I was eating and didn’t feel like taking another bite.
I looked around and I didn’t even feel like going back to work after lunch. I didn’t have the mood to speak to anybody.
I just felt so tired of everything, and I’ve been stuck in this rut for a while now.
Part of me is enjoying the daily fixed routines, but some small part of me is rebelling and asking for more variety.
The weekend came and I didn’t even want to go to church. Here’s what happens on Sundays.
We spend an hour getting ready, then bundle the kids in the car. We go somewhere for breakfast and if we’re lucky we can get through the meal without tantrums. Then in church Poey Chin has to babysit Rachel while I babysit Daryl.
Feels like a pointless exercise to me, having to watch the celebration on the TV and not being able to participate.
I did try a few things to brighten my mood.
First, I spent Saturday afternoon cleaning out a couple of kitchen drawers. Cleaning and decluttering always cheers me up. It helped a little.
Second, I picked up an old guitar and started following some lessons on YouTube. That gave me something new to occupy my mind.
Third, I had a piece of fried chicken and some char siew last Sunday. I thought this tiredness came because I didn’t eat any meat. Turns out I still felt the same after that haha.
I’m feeling tired and bored about so many things. I keep thinking and wishing for things to be different, to be better but I see no way out of my present situation.
Well don’t worry too much about me. I’m just going through one of my moods.
Hope this tired, bored feeling goes away soon.
P/S: No I’m not tired of my wife or her cooking.
Photo By: superburg