Confession

I want to dedicate this post to one special reader of mine.

She does not comment much, so most of you have not interacted with her. But she reads each post, and gives me special comments for every post I write.

Our communication is not open to public. Many times we exchange secret messages on MSN or SMS. I always clear off my phone SMS records so nobody will read them.

This affair has been going on for a few years now. Some people don’t even know about her, or that I’ve had a child with her. Yes, I have a child with her.

I have never told anybody exactly how much I love her.

I don’t know how my life will turn out after my confession here today. Maybe you won’t hear of me again. Maybe you will be so disgusted with me that you won’t visit my blog again.

But allow me to tell you all about my special valentine. Better yet, let me show you a picture of us holding hands.

She grabbed my attention because she had all the qualities I wanted in a woman, and she did not have those that I did NOT want in a woman.

Her bubbly personality filled my quiet solitude life with new experiences, new friends and new found happiness.

Her gentleness and patience seems to be limitless, to put up with all my weird habits and my impatience.

The first time she cooked for me, I could imagine eating her food every day for the rest of my life. She is my cooking mama.

She does so many things for me and our child without complaining or expecting a reward. She is a wonderful mother.

She listens to my problems and knows things that I can never tell anyone else. She is my partner in every life decision. She is my constant companion.

She laughs at my dumb jokes and reads all my blog posts.

I love her so much not only because she has all these wonderful qualities, not because she does all these things for me.

I love her because I can’t imagine how my life would be without her beside me.

I need her, to feel her, to smell her, to hear her voice and to hold her.

I love her because we have become part of each other.

I love her for all those difficult times we have gone through together.

There is nothing that I want to change about her.

And this year I want to extend a valentine’s day greeting to the beautiful child we made together…

You may not understand what I am saying now, but I hope one day you will know how much daddy loves you. I wish you wouldn’t squirm around so much and let daddy hug you and kiss you.

I wish you would follow after your mama instead of follow after me.

But I love you so much because you are part of me too. I’ve been in love with you since the day I saw you in the hospital.

Please know that as I discipline and train you, I might have to be fierce and it may seem like I don’t care, but I am only doing that so that you will grow up well-behaved.

I have to do that so you will be obedient to my voice. I may not have the time to explain all the dangers to you, so you must trust that I know what’s best for you.

Happy Valentine’s Day to Poey Chin, to Rachel and to all my dear readers!

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