The number one question people ask me nowadays (I like it when people ask me this question, because it means they care ! ) is “How is married life?”. I always smile and give my answer in one word. “Different”. Different because life can never be the same again.
It’s hard to describe how it is like in a few sentences. Come on la, it takes an entire blog post for me to talk about it. One of the reasons I’m writing this post is to be a reference for others. Next time someone asks me, I will just say “Please go to the permalink…”.
I have been happily married for more than a month now. I enjoy every single moment we spend together. However my life has changed since my bachelor days. Pastor warned me about this in marriage counselling, and I’m beginning to see what he was talking about.
I’m not complaining, I’m just telling you soon-to-be-married guys what it’s going to be like.
Without any further ado, I present you my list of ways that married life is different from bachelor life. Hold on a second. I just want to record down my strongest protest against people who say “without further ado”, when they are actually furthering the “ado” by saying “without further ado”. Now…
Since I have been married, there is no such things as time for myself anymore. I used to be able to spend hours exercising, practicing with my bass guitar, playing video games and surfing the Internet. Nowadays I spend each moment at home with my wife.
We do everything together, and any extra time I have is spent doing house work, helping to cook, washing dishes, tidying the house and watching TV with her.
I do occasionally retreat into my ‘cave’ by sitting at my computer for a few hours, or staying in the toilet playing Sudoku on my Pocket PC. Thank God my understanding wife lets me have my occasional private moments.
However I know I am crossing the limit when I turn on my PlayStation 2.
The biggest change for me has to be church. I started attending my wife’s church at DUMC, and it’s totally different from what I am used to. At my previous church, everyone knows who I am and I can serve in the worship team every week.
In DUMC, there are thousands of people. There are probably a hundred bassists in that church. Furthermore, the way they do things is very different.
It’s a different culture and I’m still in shock. I’m like a little fish in a pond that has been thrown in the ocean. A kampong boy who is visiting New York for the first time.
A Shih Tzu puppy taking his first trembling steps out of his house. Luke Skywalker seeing Coruscant for the first time. You get my drift?
I plan to start visiting a cell group regularly to try and fit in better. Thank you dear wife for being so patient with me.
My wife and I have different habits. We are starting to realize that we do things differently due to our family backgrounds. One example is she likes to sleep early and wake up early. I like to sleep as late as possible and wake up as late as possible.
Imagine my shock when she would suddenly go into the bedroom and fall asleep, and I’m thinking “What? So early?” I don’t want her to sleep alone so I have to sleep early too. The next morning, she would wake up so early.
We both have had to learn how to accept each other’s habits. We’re still learning, discovering and adapting.
4. Social Life
I’m a very quiet and homely person, and I hardly socialize. My wife, however is a very social creature. I find it interesting that I am learning to open up more to her friends (and she has a lot of friends). As a bachelor, I would invite my friends over for dinner like once in two years (we normally go out instead).
In these few weeks we have been married, we have had three dinner parties. It’s nice to meet her friends. They’re really fun and outgoing people.
Now having said all this, I must remind you that I am not complaining. I am just saying it’s different. People ask my wife too how’s married life too.
Then they always follow up with “Are you satisfied?”. I’m happy to say that she always says yes with a big smile 😀 *proud*
Now it’s your turn to tell me. How has life been different for you since you got married?